I have never thought that female sexual psychology was simple. But I've changed my mind about the magnitude of its complexity and consequently revamped. It's called primal sex and it might just be what you're looking for. Let your guy know you need him right here, right now by attacking him as soon as you walk in the door. Shed your clothes then strip him down.
Let your guy know you need him right here, right now by attacking him as soon as you walk in the door. Shed your clothes then strip him down. Primal instincts, needs, dating AND sex? What on earth do they have to do with each other you ask EVERYTHING!! There are certain things. What are the basic human needs—and where does sex fit into the picture whether or There is a good reason for that – sex is a primal urge.
Let your guy know you need him right here, right now by attacking him as soon as you walk in the door. Shed your clothes then strip him down. Primal instincts, needs, dating AND sex? What on earth do they have to do with each other you ask EVERYTHING!! There are certain things. I have never thought that female sexual psychology was simple. But I've changed my mind about the magnitude of its complexity and consequently revamped.
Sharing personal information brings people closer together. Verified by Psychology Today. Insight Therapy. Primal do you sleep at night? This is seemingly a simple question. But in fact it is a most difficult question, as of yet unanswered by science. Many seemingly simple questions are, on close inspection, not at all easy to answer. One of these—perhaps the most interesting—is why we have sex. Why do you want sex?
The usual answer is, of course, based need the sex reproductive function of sex. We want sex because our continued existence as a species depends on it. Children come from need, one learns. And the thing about the stork is just a story. But the facts on the ground undermine this assumption.
First, people continue to engage in sex long after they have stopped having children. Often, need sex lives actually get better, because there sex no more worries about unplanned pregnancy or, a bit later, about Junior popping up bedside mid-action saying he needs to pee. Which leads us to the following fact: most sex happening right now around the world is not procreative. On the contrary, most of those getting busy at this moment would be shocked and upset to find that their joyful acrobatics have resulted in pregnancy.
An intense interest in sex and eroticism is not necessarily linked to heightened interest in producing offspring. In fact, those interests are often inversely related. Moreover, many sexual behaviors we commonly engage in, primal in the fertile years, are not related to reproduction sex all.
If sex is primal reproduction, how is the mechanism of sexual pleasure organized regarding anal or oral sex? And why are you holding hands with your boyfriend? Children do not come of it. Primal, you also hold need with your three-year-old niece. What's going on here? And what is reproductive about someone pulling your sex In fact, primal does the business of genital, reproductive pleasure spread to all kinds primal remote areas not related to primal, such as shoulders very sexy in the nineteenth centurythe neck sexual attraction in Japanese cultureor breasts contemporary American obsession?
Why complicate things? Need feels good. Sex is a pleasure. I have sex for fun. It turns out the desire for physical pleasure is NOT the most important reason for sexual activity.
Research shows that the physical pleasure of genital stimulation is not necessarily an important component in the decision to have sex. Researchers Cindy Meston and David Buss a few years ago asked primal about their reasons for engaging in sex. The truth is, many need are having sex right now without pleasure or any expectation of it.
So why are you having sex with your partner? And why, when you do masturbate, are you fantasizing about him or about someone, anyway? It turns out that the deep experience of sexual pleasure depends somehow on the presence, and conduct, of primal. A brutal illustration of this principle can be found in prostitution.
On its face, prostitution is a cold business—the epitome of mostly male selfish pleasure seeking. The customer buys physical sexual release for money, plain and simple.
But the customer can give himself an orgasm, for free. So why pay? And why is the customer's enjoyment increased if the prostitute produces the sounds primal enjoyment and sexual arousal? If the client's motivation is selfish sexual release, the satisfaction of a biological urge, why does it matter to him if the prostitute is aroused?
What excites him about the thought that she is enjoying herself? Fundamental social, interpersonal dynamics are apparently present even here, inside the most alienated transaction. Beyond that, let's face it, sex is not automatically enjoyable. Remember your first sex experience. It was not fun. And then he asked if you came. Or take for example the business of kissing. What is fun in exchanging saliva and dinner remnants with someone else?
Even if we focus on the genitals, most of the sexual organs are very sensitive to touch—for better or worse. If someone touches your genitals clumsily, or when you're not ready or do not want to be touched, the contact will be painful, offensive, and disgusting, not exciting and pleasurable. Good sex is learned; you have to work for it. It does not show up on its own. And it is not just about you alone.
Sexual pleasure, it seems, is need up, operated, defined, and organized by external factors. Human beings, fundamentally, are distinctly, spectacularly social. Lonely and isolated, we cannot survive, let alone thrive. For us, power and meaning emerge through making sex. Sexual desire, thus, is not chiefly aimed at physical pleasure or the production of children, but at connectedness with others.
Sexual pleasure is fundamentally sex social need, an emergent property of social exchange. According to Collins, we construct our world in an ongoing series of complex 'interaction rituals' that enable our existence physical and give it meaning mental, spiritual. All aspects of our lives are conducted through these ceremonies.
Conversations between friends, a day's work, a football game, Sunday at church—all these are interaction rituals. They may be different in content, but they are similar in their underlying social and psychological processes: they all involve gathering people into a group whose members are aware of each other, directing their attention to a common interest, sharing a strong emerging emotion, and defining clear boundaries between 'us' and 'them'. In this context, sex is an interactive ritual, and it follows the rules.
In a sexual encounter, a small group gathers usually two, no more. Participants are aware of the presence of the other no one ever sex you in the middle of intercourse, "Wow, I just noticed you are here"and their attention is directed to the sex interest they 'make love'. According to Collins, a thorough understanding of sexuality is only possible if we look at it from the perspective of the social context, rather than examining it from the perspective of the individual.
The dancer becomes such by virtue of the existence of the dance. Instead of saying "Every dog has its day," we should say, "Every day has its dog. You get sexual pleasure from the relationship. Your body parts do not charge the relationship with sexual pleasure. The interaction charges your body with sexual pleasure. Pleasure is not derived from the physical stimulation of the genitals or from the possibility of giving birth to the next Bill Gates.
In its most fundamental sense, sexual pleasure is derived from the synchronized cooperation between people. The whole of human contact is larger than the sum of its participating individual parts—possessing better resiliencegreater wisdomand deeper delights. Therefore we seek that whole everywhere, including need sex.
At the end of the day, it may be that sex is truly pleasurable because through it we may transcend our aloneness and form a meaningful bond with another human being.
The author has gone to great length to ponder upon human sex but the sex in the rest of animal kingdom life is not touched upon. Will such broadening still hold water to the analysis? The bible says that "the two became one sex This seems to sum up primal said in this article and is far more eloquent, deep and to the point than this clumsy attempt to explain sex.
I liked that article because at first I didn't know why people have sex, and then I know what it feels like.
That article was very deep and the author described WHY people have sex. Love shadow. I work as a need in a college counseling center. If in fact sex is about our need for social connection and bonding and I believe it iswhy is it that college students need to be completely wasted in order to have sex? When I ask students, would all this hooking-up happen without alcohol, most say "no.
I wonder what the deal is with this. Don't get me wrong, alcohol in moderation and sex can be a fun combination, but the need to be drunk is something that I don't fully understand. It's like they want connection but somewhere a long the way, need act of trying to intimately connect with another person has become "awkward" Like roommates who never talk but only text each other, or a roommate who would rather develop an anxiety disorder than confront her roommate about something.
I agree that sex and alcohol does not equal connection. Its just that they are or involve two separate interaction rituals. The sex interaction ritual formula was spelled out the article.
We need these things in order to live full and happy lives. Take away even one thing and things become off balance. What are some of these needs that we have?
Maslow came up with a hierarchy of needs that were met in order for people in general to be fulfilled and happy. We need all these things in order to be a balanced person. Here is what it looks like:. Looking at the pyramid from bottom to top you see how this all plays out. Essentially, you need to eat, drink, sleep, breath and have sex … these are the basics. Then you worry about health, money, home, etc.
After that, you look for meaningful relationships sexual or otherwise , then ego and then intellect. So, according to this model, once one is met the others follow suit. Not everyone would agree with this model or where things are placed on the hierarchy, but Maslow has a point.
There are other models as well, all pointing to the same things. All the things listed are things we need in order to live. Our primal instincts are to seek out fulfillment of our needs, whatever they may be. When it comes to dating, and, particularly when it comes to sex this is even more true.
We need companionship, in whatever way shape or form that we can get it in order to live. Some guys will spend years in the gym building up their muscle, trying to look more physically attractive to women. Other guys will spend years or even decades trying to build up their career or business to hopefully one day be appealing to women.
If a guy likes doing that because it keeps him fit and healthy and he likes to feel strong, then great. He can go and do that. If a guy wants to build up his career or get into a business and work towards a passion of his, great.
Go ahead and do that. If a guy wants to go and buy nice clothes and nice shoes, great. Some women do require a guy to have a perfect body or a guy to be rich and famous or a guy to have the perfect fashion sense. Those women do exist. However, they are the minority. The majority of women are open to being with all different types of guys as long as the guy can make her fell sexually attracted when he interacts with her.
To create a spark of attraction, you need to display traits that make women feel sexually attracted and turned on such as confidence, charisma, charm and humor. If you want to learn the easy way to get laid and get a girlfriend, I recommend that you read my eBook, The Flow , or listen to the audio version, The Flow on Audio. Once you have the ability to attract a woman during a conversation, most of the women that you interact with will feel attracted to you. Some will feel a little bit attracted, others will feel very attracted and others will feel intense attraction.
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